Life On and Around the Funny Farm
Image of farm folk

While others choose to live in the city or in the suburbs close to their neighbors, we like a place with a little more space...

But not far from our backyard the countryside is changing. More and more open spaces are steadily, quietly being transformed into pockets of suburbia. Developers from the city are discovering our oasis, buying up large parcels, getting them rezoned to accommodate small lots, building big homes on those small lots and selling them to people who might not appreciate what it's like to live in the country...

Since we can't stop developments, maybe we can at least recruit people to the area who will understand and respect our country way of life. I propose that we help prospective buyers decide if they're cut out for country living by having them complete the following checklist.

Instructions: Please check all that apply.
You know you can survive in the country if you...
Image of tractor --like the smell of manure.
--understand why there's a market for bat-proof mailboxes.
--can get along without paved roads, sidewalks, and streetlights.
--never rake your leaves.
--don't lose sleep over crab grass.
--know that cow pies are not a type of dessert.
--have ever hauled something in a pick-up truck.
--can operate a riding lawn mower.
--acknowledge passers-by with a friendly nod or wave.
--know the difference between pets and livestock.
--own or dream of owning a generator.
--know the difference between hay and straw.
--have ever seen a live opossum.
--have ever worn overalls to do chores.
--enjoy the taste of real water from a well--not that treated city stuff.
--know where the contents of a country toilet go when it's flushed.
--realize that eventually someone will have to pump out that stuff from your country toilet and haul it away.
--look natural in baseball caps advertising feed, fertilizer or farm implements.
--are patient when driving behind a farm tractor going 10 miles an hour on a two-lane road in a no-passing zone.
--love and respect the land and all the creatures that depend on it.

Score: 100% (20 checks)
Welcome to country life!

Score: 95% (19 checks or less)
You might want to think twice about country living. But don't worry, there are hundreds of existing, great homes in the suburbs that will suit your lifestyle, complete with mature trees, city water, city sewer, fenced-in yard, and plenty of neighbors close by.

Plus, you won't have to breathe in any of that full-bodied country-morning air...

(excerpted from "Are you cut out for country life?"

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